


Panty and Stocking in "Don't Deal with the Devil: The Stripping"

by LuluCalliope



Category: Cuphead (Video Game), Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt
Genre: Allusions to Oral Sex, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Pre-Canon, Crack Treated Seriously, Crossover, Deal with a Devil, I'm Bad At Summaries, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Not Ashamed, I'm Sorry, Mild Sexual Content, One Shot, One-Sided Attraction, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sexual Humor, Stripping, Swearing, Tags May Change
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-30
Updated: 2018-01-30
Packaged: 2019-03-11 08:10:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13520154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuluCalliope/pseuds/LuluCalliope
Summary: Panty and Stocking made a deal with...the priest of Daten City, Garterbelt. And if they proceed and don't succeed, then they'll have to swear off sex and sweets forever! King Dice knows that most people would do anything to get out of a situation like that...even sell their souls to Satan. Two Angels walk into the Devil's casino...what will happen next?





	Panty and Stocking in "Don't Deal with the Devil: The Stripping"

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, can we just talk about the similarities between Panty and Stocking and Cuphead? Both universes have siblings fighting and collecting something for an immortal deity: Panty and Stocking collect Heaven coins from Ghosts they defeat so they can earn their way back to Heaven; Cuphead and Mugman have to collect the contracts of people who made deals with the Devil to save their own souls. So...
> 
> Here's a crack crossover!

Once upon a time, there was a place called Daten City. It was located on the fault line on Earth between Heaven and Hell, which made the citizens targets for Ghosts, Demons, and the master of all evil, the Devil. One day, two fallen Angels named Panty and Stocking Anarchy were sent to Daten City to cleanse it of wicked Ghosts and Demons. For each Ghost they destroyed, they would receive a certain amount of Heaven Coins, and once they collected enough Heavens to please their mother, the Goddess Judgement, they’d be allowed back to their heavenly home.

The two sisters lived under the watchful eye of Garterbelt, the priest of Daten City’s church. But because the sisters and the priest had such strong personalities, they butted heads more than once...and sometimes their arguments would get so loud that they could be heard on the other side of town...

* * *

King Dice loved his job.

Sure, it wasn’t always easy working as the Devil’s right-hand man. But the benefits made it all worth it. And one of these said benefits came in the form of an army of underlings who had eyes and ears all over the city.

And it was on one fine afternoon that one of these minions happened to pick up on something very interesting...it was Phear Lap who came to him with a photo of two young women. Dice had examined the picture with great disinterest. One of the women in the picture, a blonde, was dressed in a revealing outfit and slumped over in a chair. She looked like she was recovering from a hangover and a night of hard, rough sex. Her companion was a girl with pink streaks in her dark hair. She had a chocolate mustache and balanced a bowl of ice cream in her lap. Living embodiments of lust and gluttony, nothing Dice hadn’t seen before...and then Phear Lap explained the whole story to him, and Dice knew that he just HAD to tell his boss. So he rushed back to the casino, located the Devil, and met him in his private office. “Boss, how’d you feel if I told you I could get two Angels to come here and gamble their souls away?”

The Devil’s eyes widened. “I’d say you were crazy, Dice. Since when have Angels been on Earth?”

“Two of ‘em showed up a while ago. Here.” Dice showed him the picture Phear Lap had given him. “See for yourself.”

“Those two? Angels?” The Devil raised an eyebrow. “Where are their wings and halos?”

“That’s what I’m getting to, boss.” King Dice’s eyes gleamed. “They’re fallen Angels. They’ve gotta make mincemeat outta some Ghosts if they ever want to get back to Heaven! And all that destruction around the city is ‘cause of their battles! It’s put the local priest deep in debt!” Dice grinned. “They bet him that they could make him three million dollars in just three days. It’s almost the end of the third day, and they haven’t made a cent! And if they fail…” Dice placed a hand on his desk and leaned forward. “...they gotta make a Heavenly Vow and swear off ALL sin!”

“A Heavenly Vow?” This caught Satan’s attention; a Heavenly Vow was like a contract with the Devil: impossible to back out of. The Devil leaned forward in his chair. “What are you proposin’, Dice?” THIS was the real reason why Dice loved his job: the Devil seemed to value his advice and listened to his plans.

“We get the broads in here, help ‘em get lucky with the money and hooked on the game...and once they lose one bet…”

“They’ll do anything to back out of it…” Satan finished with a grin. “Even sell their souls!” His eyes gleamed. “Go do what you gotta do, Dice.”

“Easy-peasy, boss,” the King promised with a confident bow. “Since when have I let you down?”

* * *

The Devil sent a minion disguised as a human male out to find the girls and spread word of the casino. He and King Dice knew that the girls wouldn’t be able to resist the charms of the casino. And sure enough, the girls entered in no time, dressed in elegant attire and flashy jewelry. An admirer, a boy with shaggy red hair, trailed after them and watched both girls get perfect sevens with their first encounters at the slot machines. He sat down and tried his luck, too...and lost. “NOOO! That was my entire life savings!” He wailed. Dice watched from the shadows and nodded to two of the casino’s skeletal bouncers, who promptly escorted the young man out.

This was when Dice made his appearance.

Sleazy. King Dice knew that with sleazy guys, the blonde one could go either way with them. And so, if he put on just the right charms with her...he’d have her and his sister in the private lounge in the back of the casino. From there, Dice would assist the bimbos as they gambled away their money, their Heavenly knowledge...and then their souls. So he did his best to balance his charisma in a way that would attract her as he approached the girls. “Ah, he ran out of money,” he tsked, referring to their red-headed friend. “In this casino, people with no money are immediately removed.” The blonde stared at him, starstruck. Gotcha. “I’ve never seen anyone with such luck. You must be angels of fortune.”

“W-we are,” the blonde stammered. She appeared to be aroused by him...Dice had heard that with some women, power was an aphrodisiac, but this girl was something else.

“Perhaps you two would care to join us for a bigger game of roulette in the back lounge, Miss…?”

“Panty. Anarchy Panty, or Panty Anarchy in English,” she said, trying to impress him. “And my younger sister, Stocking.”

Stocking daintily licked a lollipop. “Are you saying that we could make more money in the back?”

“Of course, just follow me,” Dice said with a bow.

“I wouldn’t mind blowing that dice, if you know what I’m saying,” the blonde remarked in what she thought (or pretended to think) was a quiet voice as he led them back. Dice felt his cheeks get warm, but he cleared his throat and continued to lead the girls to the private lounge.

The private lounge was the real centerpiece of the casino. It was also where Dice and his minions spent most of their time. It had everything: to one side of the room, a minibar, where three sentient alcoholic drinks known as the Tipsy Troop served patrons. There was a small balcony where guests could smoke, overseen by his favorite cigar, Mr. Wheezy. Heck, they even had magic shows with a talking rabbit, Hopus Pocus, and those gimmicky claw machines controlled by a creepy monkey toy, Mr. Chimes. But Dice and the girls weren’t there for those. He led the Angels past the craps table and the billiard table and stopped in front of the roulette wheels. Each wheel was alive, but only one of them had a brain like the rest of King Dice’s minions...and she never entered the picture until she was needed. And Dice didn’t need her...not yet. He watched as the girls amused themselves with the roulette wheel in front of them, collecting more and more money and attracting more onlookers.

“Those girls are so lucky!”

“I’ve never seen anyone on a winning streak like this!”

“They must be goddesses!”

“Say, Panty,” the younger Angel said after a few rounds. “How much were we supposed to make for Garter again?”

“Hmm?” The blonde blinked. “Oh, that’s right, we had a bet, didn’t we?”

“Gah, you never pay attention,” Stocking said with a good-natured roll of her eyes. “We already made what we said we’d give Garter.”

“Oh, but this is so much fun!” Panty protested. “Let’s keep going here, just for a little while!”

_That’s it_ , Dice thought. _That’s my cue_. He locked eyes with another roulette wheel across the room, a female with a fondness for dancing named Pirouletta. Pirouletta nodded once, then twirled over to him, the Angels, and their admirers. “Wheel change,” she announced in her thick Russian voice. The roulette table that Dice had been using bowed to the king and scampered away, letting Pirouletta take his place.

“Pirouletta is a special wheel,” King Dice explained with a sly grin to the girls. “You sure you don’t wanna quit while you’re ahead?”

“No way!” Panty said with a dismissive flick of her hand. “We’re just getting started!”

_That’s what I like to hear_ , Dice thought. The girls placed their bets, Pirouletta began to twirl, and Dice threw the roulette ball onto her waist and watched it move from number to number. “No more bets,” he announced. The ball rolled around and around...then landed in a spot that caused the girls to lose money. “Well, it happens,” he said, feigning sympathy, as another minion of the Devil appeared to snatch away some of the girls’ money.

Panty blinked. “Yeah, you’re right! Let’s keep it going!”

From that moment on, it was just a matter of rinse and repeat with the process. And after three or four more twirls from Pirouletta…

“Our money’s all gone,” Stocking stated in a flat voice. “We lost the bet with Garterbelt…” She looked at her sister. “Panty, we’re going to have to take the Heavenly Vow. We’re doomed!”

_Checkmate_ , King Dice thought with a smirk. “Well, perhaps I can arrange something more…pleasant than a Heavenly Vow...”

“Hold on!” The blonde interrupted. “We aren’t finished yet!”

What happened next caused every male bystander in the room to gasp. Even King Dice couldn’t control himself: he blushed as the blonde removed her feather boa, leaving her perfect shoulders exposed. “Hey, boys!” She called to the male bystanders. “Who wants to buy this?”

There was a moment of silence, but then the men closest to the table called out, “Sold!” They raised large wads of cash into the air.

_She doesn’t know when to give up_ , Dice thought as the blonde grabbed the cash and threw her boa to the highest bidder. This was a fruitless exercise: she lost at gambling and her money vanished. “Then it’s my turn!” Her sister announced as she stood up and removed her long, black gloves from her arms. Her smooth skin gleamed in the light as she dangled the articles of clothing in front of the men and waited for them to bid.

Next came Panty’s gloves and rings. Then Stocking’s shoes. Then Panty’s dress and necklace. Then Stocking’s dress and necklace. A few of the gamblers actually stopped placing bids on the clothes when they realized that the girls were only wearing lace brassieres and matching panties...and, in the younger Angel’s case, long flattering stockings that set off her perfect skin. Dice felt a little sweat form on his forehead. He didn’t know how long he could keep his composure up. The crowd roared with approval as Panty and Stocking each unfastened their bras, then threw them to the highest bidders. “This should do it!” Panty exclaimed in a proud tone as she placed all thirty-seven million of her newly acquired money up for a gamble. Dice almost snorted. _She acts like the odds will be better if she has more money...stupid girl, don’t you know that you can take this money and leave with your little game won?_ He masked a smirk with great difficulty as the money made off of the bras disappeared in front of their eyes. Stocking placed a leg up on the table, removed the garments she was named after, and threw them to the wealthiest gambler. They now had over ninety-eight million dollars to gamble...and they were down to just their panties. “Okay!” Panty declared as she slammed a fist down on the table. “Lucky number seven! All or nothing!”

“WHAT?!” Her sister squeaked. “You’re not even trying!”

“One more to go! One more to go! One more to go!” The gamblers chanted. They already had as much money as their fists could hold as they watched the girls place their bets.

_It’s over now_ , Dice mused. _It’s over!_ He was about to make his final move and throw down the ball...and then the blonde let out an enormous sneeze. “Aren’t you nervous at all?!” Stocking scolded.

“Sorry, I’m getting cold without my clothes,” Panty sniffled. Dice blinked and turned his attention back to the ball…

...and then he realized that the ball had been knocked out of his hand by the force of the Angel’s sneeze.

...and it had landed on Pirouletta’s wheel…

...on number seven…

“WHAT?!” He let out an uncharacteristic shriek of disbelief and rage.

“We won!” Stocking squealed as she pulled her sister close in an embrace.

“Hells yeah, we did it!” Panty cheered.

“Oh, shit,” the disappointed gamblers grumbled in unison.

The ground quaked as a loud roar of anger sounded throughout the casino. “NOOOOOOOOO!” Dice flinched as the Devil himself stormed into the room and towered over the fallen angels, only moments away from unleashing his wrath upon them and the rest of the patrons. “THIS WASN’T SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN!” He bellowed. “YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO LOSE IT ALL, THEN GIVE UP YOUR SOULS TO ME!!!” His pupils suddenly shapeshifted to look like silhouettes of the Angel girls getting crushed by the silhouette of a mallet. “If you want something done right...you have to do it yourself!” He snapped his fingers, and all of Dice’s minions suddenly appeared before him and faced the girls. “So I’ll just sit back and watch them wipe the blood off the carpet...a pity that you don’t have halos,” he added with a smile. “I would have loved to keep them as trophies!”

The two girls, clad only in tiny panties, stared at Dice’s best underlings, then looked up at Satan, the Prince of Darkness, the most powerful evil being in the known universe…

...and burst out laughing in his face.

“Wow, you’re an IDIOT.” Panty said as she wiped a tear from her eye.  “And I’m not saying that just because you don’t seem to get the idea of ‘doing things yourself’! You just revealed your plan to us! Who does that, even if they’ve lost?”

“You really think that they’re going to stop us?” Stocking asked with a wry smile as she gestured to Dice’s crew. “What do you think, Panty?”

“I think this is perfect. We’ll win a bet with Garter, teach the Devil not to screw with Daten City, and maybe collect some Heavens, too!” The sisters exchanged a smirk as Stocking said:

“Let’s rock.”

“ _Fly away now, fly away now, fly away…_ ” An unseen female Announcer sang in a voice that could only be described as heavenly. Dice gasped as a halo appeared over the blonde’s head. She cast it down to her feet, and that’s when he realized that their outfits (or what had been left of them) had changed to simple, white garb: hers had pink accents, her sister’s had purple. As he registered this change, he noticed that halos shone over their heads and that the illusion of feathery white wings seemed to project itself onto the bodies of the girls. Two dancing poles, the kind associated with strippers, magically appeared next to the girls. Each Angel straddled one, displaying their gorgeous bodies for everyone in the room. Dice wondered what the point of all of this was, and then the girls spoke.

“Oh pitiful shadow lost in the darkness, Oh wicked spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth, may the thunderous powers of the garments of these holy delicate maidens strike down upon you with furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came!” The bystanders cheered as the Anarchy sisters recited this chant. As they spoke, Panty’s hands moved to cup her perky, firm breasts, then slipped between her legs. Stocking blew a kiss to her admirers as her hands brushed over her bosom, then trailed down to her legs as she slid to the floor. Dice turned as red as a tomato as the blonde removed her pink panties and her dark-haired sister slipped off one of her stockings. The girls turned to the Devil, triumphant grins on their faces, and shouted in unison: “REPENT, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!” With that, Panty’s panties turned into a small gun, which she aimed at the Tipsy Troop, Hopus Pocus, and Mr. Wheezy. Stocking’s stocking morphed into a long sword, which she used to cut up the rest of Dice’s minions.

The Devil howled with fury at the sight. King Dice watched his boss as his arms stretched out, scooped him and his beloved minions up, and disappeared from the casino in a puff of smoke. “Sayonara, Daten City!” That was the last thing he shouted into the air before he used his ungodly powers to open a portal to Hell, which he leapt through, bringing Dice and his henchman with him. Dice and the others were dropped to the floor most rudely, and that’s when he realized that he was in the Devil’s palace (the throne room, to be exact). The Devil made himself comfortable on his throne, then looked down at the embarrassed Dice. “What was it you had said about this being an easy job?” The man in the purple suit cleared his throat to try to appear somewhat collected. The only thing worse than the Devil when he was screaming was when the Devil had a soft, sweet voice...and he had that voice now.

Dice gritted his teeth and tried not let his fear show. “You’re right, boss. I-I made a mistake. And it won’t happen again.” He could have sworn that the air around him actually got colder as the Devil smiled, leaned closer to him, and asked:

“Want to put your money where your mouth is?”

**Author's Note:**

> And that's why King Dice didn't want Cuphead and Mugman to retrieve all of the soul contracts! He bet the Devil that he wouldn't make any mistakes...and if Cuphead and Mugman got past him with all of the soul contracts, well...that'd be a huge mistake, wouldn't it?
> 
> What do you think? Good? Bad? Shitty? Awesome? Meh? Leave comments! Or kudos! Or whatever you want!


End file.
